Heart Trouble

First, let me say, that this is hard to share with you.  It has always been a struggle for me to "just lay it all out there." It is very hard for me to share not only my feelings but even my opinions in some settings. 

So here goes...

Luke 6:45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. 

This writing is directly from my heart -- the good, the bad and the ugly. For years, I have carried a lot of baggage that has kept me from walking in complete obedience to the Lord and using the gifts He has placed inside of me. 

Quite honestly, I have not only held onto the baggage but have embraced it; sometimes wearing it as a badge of honor. I know that sounds crazy but when you give more thought to what has happened to you in your past, it doesn't allow much room for God. He is always there but it's up to each of us to lay down our rights at the foot of the cross.

By rights, I mean thoughts that our actions or emotions are justified because of past, hurts, failures, disappointments, etc. All of those "he did this to me" or "she did that to me" statements become bigger and bigger until they fill up space in our hearts that God created for Himself. 

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be controlled by my emotions any longer. By dwelling on them, I've allowed satan to keep me from doing what God has called me to do. One of which, is to be an encourager. That is why you haven't seen a new blog post in quite a while. 

I just finished a book by Anne Graham Lotz entitled: "Wounded by God's People". When I got to the last few pages, the following paragraph gripped my heart and I have read it over and over again in the past several days. 

She writes: "Although you may not be in exile physically - you may still be going to church, attending Bible studies, involved in religious activities —could it be that your spirit is nonetheless in exile because you are stuck in the quicksand of past wounds? Is there a cold vacancy where there used to be a warm vibrancy of love for the things and people of God? Is there a root of bitterness that is strangling your spirit on the inside, threatening to choke off the future God has in store for you?" 

Wow!  It was then I realized, that I have given more thought to my hurts and trying to justify them than to the One who wants to heal those hurts. 

2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments (even between my flesh and my spirit) and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

So, brothers and sisters, I'm taking back what the enemy has stolen from me!